Esposa abnegadaEsta vez que fui de vacaciones a Huatulco Oaxaca (- la semana pasada), pude platicar con una mujer divorciada, por cierto muy guapa. Una belleza natural, sin pintura ni color en el cabello. Ella es de Cuernavaca Morelos.

Todo comenzó porque al llegar al elevador del hotel, llegó con su Mamá y me preguntó que por donde estaba una sección de ese lugar. Resultó que yo me dirigía hacia allá y las acompañé.

Desde ahí entablamos una amistad a lo largo de los 4 días que estuve en ese paradisiaco lugar.

En una de esas pláticas que tuvimos, me habló de lo mal que le hace el machismo mexicano a las mujeres, sobre todo en su desarrollo profesional.
Sin que pareciera una queja me confió que su “ex” no la dejaba salir ni a la esquina, la quería encerrada en su casa sin que tuviera una sola mirada a la calle. Él le traía todo el mandado para que ella “no se preocupara”, etc. etc.

Lo sorprendente, -me dijo, es que cuando lo conoció era totalmente diferente, le prometió que la dejaría ejercer su profesión, que podría trabajar y ayudar con los gastos de la casa, etc.
Su cambio fue radical al momento de jugar el papel de esposo.

En nuestros países vemos a diario esa misma actitud por parte de los maridos, ejercen su machismo heredado por generaciones y no dejan que la mujer se desarrolle profesionalmente.
Desean tener una esposa “abnegada” y cuidando a sus hijos, nada más.

Por cierto que hoy pude leer un consejo a las adolescentes que deseaban casarse allá por los años 50’s en Estados Unidos, parece una broma, pero no dudo ni un momento que sí era verdad:

* Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
* Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
* Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
* During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
* Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
* Be happy to see him.
* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
* Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
* Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
* Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
* Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
* A good wife always knows her place.

Imagen Original de la revista Housekeeping Monthly
En el 2004 escribí acerca de la Participación de la mujer en el mundo de diseño.